Woe is Me

23 12 2008

I am Captain Crankypants as of late. I am so sick of the snow. I am sick of shoveling. I am sick of Winter. I am sick of being a stripper. I am sick of dancing. I am sick of having acne. I am sick of having feelings for someone that doesn’t return the sentiments.

I just don’t know how much longer I can keep this all up. Dancing is fine, but I prefer a solid bi-monthly paycheck over grinding on random dude’s laps for sweaty wadded up twenties.

I am sad that I am 27, and still stripping for a living. Granted, there are many other jobs I would willingly do, but I can’t seem to get hired for any of them. I feel like a failure at this juncture in my life.

To compound this problem is the fact that as a stripper, I have a lot of trouble meeting men that I want to date. The good ones are hard enough to find. Add in that I dance for a living, and it’s even harder to find someone. Most men can’t deal with the jealousy issues that come up in a relationship like that. Which is completely understandable. But it seems like all of my friends are in a relationship, married and/or starting families. I don’t want to start a family or get married, but a relationship would be nice. And the one person I really really like, doesn’t want to have anything to do with me but ocassionally fuck me. The sex is amazing, but I want to be something more to someone than just a fuck buddy.

I’m sorry this is all complainy, but I really needed to get this off my chest. I don’t know how to meet new people, and it has made me feel very isolated. The onle place I can think of is bars, and a bar is no place to meet anyone. Anyhow. Bah humbug.



2 responses

29 12 2008

Have you ever been to Meetup.com? Its a free site where you can join clubs that have similar interests to you. I joined a lot of moms groups on Meetup in the hopes of making some new friends after I had my son. I also joined a couple of dance lesson groups, a yoga group, and a running group, but I’ve never actually been to any of those meetups. Anyway, its a great way to meet new people and have a new social outlet. I’ll bet you could find an awesome bike group there. Or any other interests you might have. Its worth checking out. Also, a lot of towns have Sierra Club Singles groups, you might also like that. Volunteering for organizations you really care about is a great way to meet people with similar values to you. Just some ideas.
I can imagine its hard to meet quality understanding men in your profession, but maybe even making some new friends that are in a similar place in their lives as you will make a difference for your lonliness. At least then you might have some single friends in addition to your married friends. And maybe guys in groups with similar interests and values to you will be more willing to accept your temporary profession. Eventually you will move on to something else, don’t worry. We all get stuck doing crap jobs we don’t like for a while. At least you didn’t sign a six year contract to do yours, like I did mine. And you probably make more than I do too. I’m such a sucker.

29 12 2008

Hey Jami, I hears ya babe. I have someone that I care about who doesn’t really want me back and it is driving me bonkers. One minute I’m sad and weepy about it and the next I’m incensed and ready to kill him.

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