Wind and Thighs

16 04 2008

Date: April 15, 2008

Mileage: 8.5

April Mileage: 53.8

Year to Date Mileage: 151.8

Temp/Weather: 70F, Sunny, wind 25-40 mph from South

Days until RAGBRAI Lottery: 16

 

 

Wow. Just wow. I had no idea that biking into the wind could be SO hard. Sometime around lunch, the news people sent out a “wind advisory.” I paid no attention to it, because the weather forecasters here seem to have sort of a fatalistic attitude about the weather. As the day progressed I watched it get windier and windier outside. I had never biked in weather like that before, but I had things to do after work, like go to my hair (!) appointment, and go home. I only had about 3 miles to go, but it took me half an hour. The wind was so strong it almost knocked me over a couple of times, and once it actually blew me to a stop when I tried to coast down a hill. My appointment went great, it always does. It helps that one of my best friends also happens to be a miracle worker when it comes to hair.

 

I am 26. My metabolism is finally starting to slow down a little. After I quit my part time night job a year ago, I stopped working out completely. This was actually a good thing. It has probably taken me most of that year for my body to completely recover form all the damage that I did to it. I am finally getting good sleep, having vivid dreams, and feeling healthy and wakeful during the day. I am feeling the urge to get out and exercise, which tells me my body is back to being healthy. I even actually managed to put on a couple pounds in my saddlebag region over the winter. This is both good and bad. It’s nice to know I am capable of gaining weight, and I know where I gain my weight (thighs, not chest L). But, I noticed last month that I had some cellulite that needed to be diminished. In the last month of biking, my legs and butt are visibly stronger, firmer, and tighter. The cellulite is gone.

 

So, I tried to put on a pair of jeans last night that I dug out of the bottom of the donation pile. They were one of my favorite pairs of jeans a year ago, when I was too skinny. I literally forced myself into those poor pants by jumping up and down, squeezing, sucking in, swearing at the pants, the works. Boyfriend and I were both laughing at me trying to get into them. But he pointed out that it isn’t my nonexistent cellulite that made me unable to fit into them. He told me how much more muscular my legs look, and that as I keep biking, they are probably going to keep getting bigger, at least for the next 6 months or so, until my body stabilizes. So tonight, we are going to go shopping at Target to find a new pair of jeans for me in the next size up.

 

Size is all relative. I have been a size 4/5 for so long because I was sickly. I was too thin, not working out, not eating healthy, not sleeping healthy. I was drinking too much alcohol, and living a generally unhealthy lifestyle. All of that has turned around in the past year. The largest size pants I have ever worn were a size 9. That was when I was in high school, when I was in track, lifting weights, snowboarding and swimming. I did not get thinner, I got sicker, and I have not gotten bigger in the past year, I have gotten healthier.

 

But it is hard to get past the size hang-up that is force fed down our throats as American women. It is for me, and I am not even a large woman. I can only imagine how hard it must be for my curvier sisters. Everywhere we look, we are told that thin is beautiful, that bigger breasts, smaller waists and butts are sexier. What about those of us that aren’t shaped like that? Are we not sexy? I say “NO!” I say that the woman that embraces her body, no matter the size or shape, the woman that loves her flaws and imperfections because they are what make her, HER, those are the sexy women. I am proud of my small chest, and my strong legs. I am officially a size “whatever.”

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