Got A New Job!

3 11 2007

Hip hip hooray! I have finally gotten a job. And it isn’t just “some job”, it is a GREAT job. I finally have a job, so I can get paid up on my lawyer, my other bills, and hopefully I will get to see my daughter again soon. As for other areas of my life, I feel that I am finally getting some control over things that I felt I had no control over in the past. Thanks to having regular paychecks again, I can make a budget and pay back all the bad things on my credit report. It will be a good day for me when I have paid back all of my creditors and can start doing some good with my money. Like investing in my 401K, replacing my car with one that isn’t like Uncle Buck’s car, and working on some personal goals and development (I want to become a certified childbirth instructor and teach classes out of our home a couple of hours a week.) But these are things that I don’t feel comfortable doing until my credit report is cleaned up. I have gotten to the point where I am tired of being judged by mean people based on what I have or have not done with my money in the past. Yes, I have f***ed up credit. I have no excuse other than the fact that I was irresponsible. But having some bad thing in my past DOES NOT make me a bad person, regardless of what other people may say. So please, you know who you are, stop judging me. I should be the most critical person of myself, not you. I already know you hate me, do you have to judge me too?

I am FINALLY starting to come back to my old self. I was the same person my whole life, until I met you. All that was good in me went dormant, but it felt like you murdered it. It is starting to wake back up, slowly, like the first flowers budding in the spring. I am waking up. It feels good. It makes me feel whole again. I can feel my juices flowing like sap. I am starting to envision some more creative things for my future. I would like to put in a garden. I feel creative when I garden. I feel like more of a part of the earth, more “grounded”, no pun intended. We are also eating better. We are following the paleolithic diet. It is NOT environmentally friendly, but it IS people friendly. We are feeling physically healthier since cutting most grain and ALL fast food out of our diet. I fell off the wagon over Halloween (lot of candy), and am paying the price in the form of a major acne breakout. :( We are eating more protein, more butter and cream, more mineral rich broth, more fermented foods, more healthy fiber in the form of fruits and veggies. Less grains, and no white bread or sugar (pretty much the same thing). It goes completely against the grain of all the modern diet “gurus”, but it is how people evolved to eat, so I have no problem believing in it. And in light of that, next year we are going to stock our freezer full of farm fresh meat: lamb, chicken and bison. All of our meat from that point forward will be pasture raised and antibiotic/hormone free.

I am also starting to fantasize about buying land. I would like to build us a cob home, with a separate “creative studio”. This would be a place where I could paint, draw, sculpt and teach my childbirth classes. I would like to make it two rooms: A bedroom, and a great room with a kitchenette, a small wood stove, and a big claw foot bathtub. I would also like to build a garden shed with an attached greenhouse. And of course, housing for all of our farm animals: horses, chickens, ducks, sheep, and a couple of cows or goats, or both. This is not a pipe dream, but a real dream. I will work towards it slowly. But I have many other things that I need to accomplish first. I am thinking that I wouldn’t even be able to start looking at land for at least five years. I would love, Love, LOVE to be a work at home mom with a small homestead/farm. We could sell some produce, chickens, eggs, lambs, ducks and duck eggs. I could offer my services as a childbirth educator. In real life, it would be hard, dirty and take a lot of work and time, but it is so pretty in my mind. I think that it would be worth striving for.

These are not my pictures. I borrowed them off the internet, but I don’t remember from where. If they are yours and you want me to remove them from my sight, or to credit you, please let me know so I can do the right thing. :0)



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